Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Nene Quits and Star Jones Sucks

I dvr'd Celebrity Apprentice and watched it yesterday and what might have been the best of all possible outcomes, short of them both getting run over by a bus driven by Jose Canseco, occurred. I never talk to the TV and yesterday I did, I was so happy that they voted off Star Jones, I actually clapped and said something like "Take that, bitch."

I don't know why I think she's such a miserable person, I just do, and so today I went and read her bio to try and figure out what it is I don't like, or, to find something redeeming about her that could help me end my negative feelings. I failed. I only found something to make me dislike her more.

I never watched The View, and had no idea who Star Jones was until I heard Howard Stern talking about her firing from that show. Then she went back into obscurity for me until this year's Celebrity Apprentice. So, I learned about her "legal background" from her, on this show.

At one point, she said that she had learned something from her mentor, Johnnie Cochran, which made my ears perk up. I knew she had lost a ton of weight at some point because she made reference to it, and the Johnnie Cochran reference made me picture her as a big fat black woman learning how to be a power lawyer in the shark infested waters of Cochran's firm. I was impressed!

Which is probably why I was upset with myself for not liking her. Here she was, this woman who had fought herself up through the ranks to become a nationally known attorney and then stepped from there to The View. It's a great story, how can I not like her? How can I not respect an intellect that could successfully navigate the intrigue and politics of a major law office like Cochran's?

Well, come to find out, calling Johnnie Cochran her mentor was a bit of a stretch. She INTERVIEWED him as part of the OJ coverage. Digging a little deeper, it appears that she was a practicing lawyer for all of four years. WTF? They're holding her out as a legal expert? Good God.

From what I can piece together her timeline must be something like this:

1962-1980- Growing up, high school, etc.
1980-84- College
1984-1987- Law School
1987-1991- Practicing Law
1991- Begins commentating on William Kennedy Smith trial for Court TV, and other shows to TALK about law.

So, after I learned that, it was on. I can 100% think she's a scumbag. Yes she was a lawyer, yes she may still have credentials, but she was a prosecutor in Brooklyn for a couple of years, not a savvy twenty-year partner in Johnnie Cochran's firm as I had imagined she was based on her "mentor" comment. She's a phony.

As for Nene, her only ticket, as far as I can tell, is that she's loud and doesn't mind being a jackass in front of people. That will go well on a reality show because we all like to watch trainwrecks, but it's her only asset, especially now that she's shown she's a quitter.

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